"Injustice Anywhere is a Threat to Justice Everywhere" -Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

As you may know, our newsletter recognizes awareness months throughout the year.  Awareness months help us acknowledge those in our community who should receive our support and to shine a light on their experiences while creating an environment of safety and ensuring mental health.

June is Pride month and our newsletter was to speak to, and acknowledge, those in our community who identify as LGBTQ.  As with other awareness months, we were focused on bringing attention to the LGBTQ community and how we, as a community, work together to support and establish an environment of acceptance and safety. 

We hope our newsletters supports a dialogue within our community which helps to bring about change while validating the experiences of others.  We also seek to challenge preconceived beliefs that may hinder us as we seek to truly see, and value, our neighbor.  We hope to create some discomfort within each of us so as to provide opportunity for growth.  And, support a conversation that speaks to our altruism and knowing there is something bigger than ourselves.      

I must admit that since May 25th I’ve had a difficult time collecting my thoughts while preparing my article.  The very focus of my article was playing out in front of me (and the world).  I was hoping to write an article that would create a moment that would have us stop and think about how we accept and treat others.  To again recognize that we’re all in this together.  To understand each person has value and is able to make a difference in our community (our nation and the world). 

Our work at Family Services of Davidson County has always been to relieve the fear of others and create a chance for healing.  Healing that creates a new journey in which the hopes and dreams of children, individuals and/or families can again be refashioned and achieved.  I believe that readers of our newsletter seek to participate in this work and is the reason you support our agency.  I also believe, with all my being, that we are an accepting and loving people but when fear guides us, we become blinded to our actions and the actions of others. 

Let us make a promise not to be led by fear or to become myopic in our view of others.  May we seek to do what’s difficult because we know that doing what’s hard is what’s right. 

Warm Regards,

Tim Tilley

Times are Weird: 4 Mental Health Tips for Teens

By: Melissa Lopez, E-File Coordinator

Times are weird right now for everyone, regardless of age. Here are some tips for keeping your Mental Health on track:

1.       Limit Social Media

The easiest way to limit social media is to cut down on the time you spend on it. “But TikTok!?” you may ask, and my response will be “TikTok away!” SO, if cutting back on social media time isn’t for you then cut back in different ways. You can temporarily “hide” or “unfollow” people, friends or family who aren’t being the most inspirational or constructive at the moment, but who you don’t want to permanently unfriend. This link will show you how to unfollow people without hurting their feelings (on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook): https://thenextweb.com/basics/2019/01/04/how-to-quietly-ditch-people-you-follow-on-facebook-twitter-and-instagram/

2.       Talk to someone

If you feel comfortable, talk to your parents, either  about how you’re feeling , or if it’s possible for them to get you to a mental health professional. If you do not feel comfortable reaching out to your parents, maybe reach out to a friend. Most likely your friends may currently be experiencing or have experienced your same feelings, or they’ll just be willing to listen. If parents or friends are not an option you can Live Chat or call the National Suicide Prevention Life line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. For a more local response you can call **ASK (275).

3.       Create a schedule

Create a schedule every day when you wake up and make sure you set goals for yourself. Your goals can be as small as “Eat breakfast today” or as big as “Finish my college application”. Also, your schedule doesn’t have to be a productive schedule, again take baby steps if you need to. Throw in a couple hours of binge watching, doing your nails, or playing video games. Just make sure you have a reasonable and attainable goal and go for it!

4.       Learn Something New

Maybe take this summer break to learn something new! Learn to play a new socially distanced sport like Frisbee golf, or tennis. You can even do something like learn a new TikTok dance and execute it. You don’t have to post it, just give yourself a job well done for learning it. Follow a makeup tutorial step by step, or put on some Bob Ross and make a million happy little accidents along the way to a beautiful masterpiece. The world is your oyster!

Mental Health Resources for Teens & Young Adults

The National Council on Mental Health

National Allicance on Mental Illness

Teen Mental Health

Mental Health During the Coronavirus

Dear Friends,

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.   For nine years, Family Services of Davidson County (FSDC) has recognized Mental Health Awareness Month by holding our annual Davidson Doozie 10k and 5k races during the month of May. 

With our race, FSDC promotes mental health for individuals and families by having a time to get together for exercise, fellowship, healthy snacks and fun.  The Davidson Doozie also encompasses altruism by having our participants run in honor of someone impacted by violence, trauma and mental illness.

Unfortunately, our Davidson Doozie was postponed by the onset of the Coronavirus and the increase diagnoses of COVID-19. 

With the pandemic, we find ourselves questioning the tried and true methods of promoting mental health.  How can we ensure we’re benefiting from a strong support system? How do we engage in rewarding activities? How are we lessening our focus on worrisome issues?  How do we make certain we don’t self-isolate?  And, how do we involve ourselves in causes that help us recognize our importance in our community?  All of these crucial actions help the development and sustainment of our mental health.

So, what now?  Do we surrender to the fact that COVID-19 will end tried and true activities that promote mental wellness?  Do we create new methods for developing protective factors for our mental health?  Do we ignore that our lives have been ever changed by this pandemic? 

Through the years of practicing, I have often stated that crisis provides opportunity.  Easy to say but very hard to recognize and accept.  As healthy human beings, we don’t say “I need a crisis so I can discover an opportunity.”!  But change is often preceded by challenge. 

We are faced with the challenge of discovering new methods of maintaining our mental health while we fold in the techniques that we know work.  Mental and physical wellbeing start with doing the simple things that have the greatest impact.

First, the simple things.  Are you staying hydrated?  Make certain that you’re not skipping healthy meals and snacks. Protect your down time and maintain healthy sleep habits.  Engage in an activity that brings joy, and get your body moving.  These can be practiced while also following the CDC guidelines for social distancing and good hygiene. 

Next, let’s find ways to revive our support system.  Contact now is more likely to be social media but is still important.  A lost art that I would recommend is letter writing.  I know, there’s emails, texts, Instagram and Facebook posts are the new normal.  But, there’s something about putting pen to paper and sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone in your support group.  Give it a try!

Do find a way to physically connect.  We’ve seen many instances of drive through waves and seeing friends and family through a glass door or window.  Not optimal but an option.  Have get togethers in which you can ensure 6 feet distancing (picnics in a large area). There is something that happens when we connect by looking into the eyes of those who you care about and who care about you.

Practice a letting go technique.  Worry robs us of energy that is needed for other necessary battles.  Find an activity such as deep breathing, meditation, prayer or yoga.  These techniques can help with getting you centered when worry creates being disjointed and keeps our mind spinning.  Yep, there’s an app for these techniques so enjoy your search. 

Set aside time to address the negative impact of this pandemic.  Consider journaling, which allows you to get these feeling out by recording how this new normal has totally rearranged our experiences and plans.  Journaling also provides a chance to express the frustration and fear that we often want to hide. 

Lastly, we do have the capacity to heal and also thrive.  This will not be the only experience we’ll have that speaks to our not being in control.  However, we can take charge of things within our ability to change.  Celebrate the choices we discover are ours to make and let go of things that we really never had control of anyway. 

Blessings and warm regards,

Tim Tilley

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: Why We Recognize Sexual Assault Awareness Month During CO-VID 19

Post by: Ashley Hoke, LCMHC, Therapist/Advocate

Like most organizations, Family Services of Davidson County had to carefully look at our events and awareness activities planned during the CO-VID 19 outbreak. We recognize that our community members mourn as they experience the cancellation and rescheduling of important events, gatherings, and fundraising activities. Looking toward April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we could not fathom missing the recognition of this important topic. The prevention of sexual assault has always been a priority of ours and we will find a way to continue our outreach during this time.

Some may wonder, why continue to move forward when we are distant from one another? Can we still ban together against sexual violence when we are ordered to stay at home? Isn’t everyone “safe” at home?

We would argue that it is more important than ever to be united in prevention efforts and responding to sexual violence. Here are some reasons why…

1. Sexual Violence is Still Happening

We know that best practices for social distancing during the CO-VID 19 outbreak is to stay at home when possible. The idea is that we are “safe at home.” While this is certainly true for protection against the Coronavirus, we acknowledge that not everyone feels safe in their own home. The Department of Justice (2013) reported that 55% of sexual assaults occur at or near the victim’s home, while 12% occur at or near a relative’s home. Sexual assault survivors may be experiencing more exposure to their abuser during a time when most are seeking shelter in their own homes or with relatives. The World Health Organization (2020) also noted that violence against women increases in times of any emergency, epidemics included. It’s important to understand that sexual violence is not only continuing to happen, it may be happening more now than before.

1. The Barriers to Receiving Support are Greater

There are many barriers that survivors face in accessing support and resources following sexual assault. Just a few include financial, transportation, abuser control, low community awareness of resources, and lack of childcare. Many of these barriers have been greatly impacted by the CO-VID 19 regulations. Survivors may be facing job loss, financial concern, and lack of childcare. They may also be under heavy surveillance by their abuser and more heavily reliant on their abuser’s resources. If we as a community are more aware of sexual violence and open to support survivors during this time, we can more greatly help survivors overcome these barriers to get the help they need.

1. Survivors May Feel More Alone Now than Ever

Survivors of sexual assault can often feel isolated by their experience. Survivors may feel like they are different from others and do not want to burden their friends during a time of crisis. Survivors may also have difficulty sharing their story over video chat or by phone. We can support survivors by checking in with our friends and loved ones and having open conversations around our experiences. This is a time when we want to feel more unified, included, and open to conversations that usually carry heavy stigma. We want to show those we love that we care and are open to talking about anything they are going through.

1. Support Services Continue to be Available for Survivors

Sexual violence has a horrific impact on individuals and our community as a whole. As advocates, we have also heard so many stories of triumph, support, and healing. Survivors as just that… SURVIVORS. If we continue to engage in prevention, intervention, and loving response to survivors during this time, we can have an impact on the safety of our community. 

How can you get involved? Follow our information, blog posts, and fundraising campaigns throughout Sexual Assault Awareness Month at our Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/FamilyServicesDavidson) or Website (fsdc.org). You can also spread the word that our services are still available through the Family Services of Davidson County Main Office (336-249-0237), 24/7 Crisis Line (336-243-1934), and Hattie Lee Burgess Shelter (336-243-1934). 

For further information on resources during the CO-VID 19 outbreak, visit: https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/get-updates-information-covid-19/ and https://www.fsdc.org

We at Family Services of Davidson County are thinking about you and your families during this time. We look forward to continuing to serve our community and provide support during families’ most difficult times.

References

Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Female Victims of Sexual Violence, 1994-2010 (2013)

WHO/SRH/20.04. World Health Organization 2020. https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/emergencies/COVID-19-VAW-full-text.pdf

Test of Time

The Test of Time Dear Friend, I recently began looking back at experiences I had as a youth and young adult. Mostly, my focus was on nostalgic events and how these were tied to memories of places and products that defined an era. I fondly recalled the by Melissa Lopez

Flagging Down Main

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. To help raise awareness we have lined Main Street with flags and posters with information on how you can join the movement and find resources. If you happen upon a yellow flag or poster down on Main Street in Lexington, snap a picture and tag us in it by using these hashtags: #bethe1to, #SPM19, #FSDC. Help start the conversation. If you, or someone you know, needs help please reach out to the National Suicide Lifeline 1-800-273-8255, or Family Services Crisis Line 336-243-1934. For more information you can go to www.fsdc.org or www.bethe1to.com

Introducing Our New Executive Director: Tim Tilley

July 1, 2019

For Immediate Release

TIM TILLEY NAMED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF FAMILY SERVICES OF DAVIDSON COUNTY

Family Services of Davidson County Board of Directors is pleased to announce Tim Tilley has been appointed as the agency’s new Executive Director effective July 1, 2019.  

Tim, who has been serving as the interim executive director of the organization since December 2018, has also been the agency’s clinical services director since 2001. “We are so very pleased that Tim has accepted this new leadership role,” shares Jane Murphy, Family Services Board Chair.  “The board, management team and entire staff of Family Services are confident that Tim is the exact person needed to move Family Services of Davidson County forward. His leadership style combined with his level of expertise of the agency is a perfect fit.  We looked outside the organization knowing that the true leader was right here the entire time.”

Having been with the organization since it was formed more than 22 years ago, when Youth and Family Counseling Services and Davidson County Domestic Violence combined forces, Tim has been an integral part of the growth and services provided to the countless individuals and families over the years.  “I am very humbled to be entrusted as the executive director”, says Tilley.  “I truly believe in what we do here at Family Services and want to outline a strategic plan that will enable us to grow and expand our services as we deal with the most personal and traumatic events in the lives of children and families.”  Tilley, along with management team and staff, concentrate on provide counseling, crisis intervention and youth development programs to strengthen individuals, families and our community.  The organization provides counseling services, youth and family services and crisis intervention.

Counseling services assist individuals, youth and families who are or have experienced primary and secondary traumas that continue to create difficulties in managing important areas of their lives.  The agency’s licensed clinicians provide quality individual, couple, family, and group counseling services that address issues such as parent-child relationship problems, child behavior problems, child abuse and adults with a history of abuse and anxiety, depression, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder and other problems associated with experiencing trauma. 

Youth and Community Services provide comprehensive services to reduce juvenile delinquency. Staff assist young people and families who are faced with difficulties at school, home or in the community to improve their chances for success in life. Priority is placed on reducing the likelihood that at-risk youth will continue down a criminal path.

In addition, Crisis Intervention Services provides a safe, temporary home, accessible 24 hours a day to individuals and families who are actively fleeing domestic and/or sexual violence, to support victims and their families throughout the legal, medical, and healing process. The crisis line is available 24/7 to provide immediate confidential crisis response intervention, information, referral, and support services to victims of domestic and sexual violence.

“The Board’s focus over the next few months is to formally introduce our new executive director” explains Murphy, “and spend time telling the awesome story about Family Services.”  A community wide open house will be held in August to help welcome Tim into his new role and provide an opportunity for community members to visit the agency and learn more about services provided.   For more information about Family Services of Davidson County please visit our website www.fsdc.org.